Handling the Holidays

Dear Families,

If I could write all of you a Christmas letter that truly helped the families of those challenged by Autism, it would go something like this. 

Handling the Holidays with an child that's challenged by Autism, can really be a lot to tote around.  Already, Thanksgiving was a lot to handle this year.  After being presented a meal my child surprisingly ate, we proceeded to have pie, play games, laugh, talk and stay up late.  It was a great day, and a success by my personal measure.  Granted, I view my successes as a parent through the lens of Autism, and therefore, it was fine for me and my little fam.

There are some tips I'm learning from year to year that help me to have more success in managing the holidays for my child when he's home so much from the structure of a typical school day.  

Some of the things which help are talking to him and preparing him before the end of school.  I like to do a countdown with him towards events like this, and we'll discuss how it's 5, then 4 and so on until school stops for a few weeks.  Then, we look at the calendar, and I show him the day that he's going back to school.  This might be considered a transition warning, and I find it to be very successful for him, and it helps me teach him how to manage his stress about this change.

There are some other things around my house that I have up and leave up all year, but utilize more during holidays and/or time periods when my child has more behaviors related to Autism.  One of them is a visual schedule which one of his teacher's helped me make years ago using Boardmaker icons.  This is a software program which many Speech Therapists, Special Education Teachers, and School Districts should have access too.  If the district you're in doesn't use Boardmaker Software for some reason, just ask for help creating what's called a "Visual Schedule". Here's mine. 

I have broken mine up by day and night.  If you look at it, I don't show the break very well, but it makes sense to my child, and that's all that matters to me.  The day or morning is indicated by the full sun.  The night, by the moon and star.  After the sun, I've put pictures of what my child is supposed to do in order to get ready for the day.  After the moon, it is his nighttime routine before bed.  My son knows that everything missing is taken care of at school.  

The second picture I have up, is of the envelopes I've used to organize these icons.  I have them hanging from the wall with tacks.  It's divided by morning, afternoon, evening and Saturday.  When my child has more behaviors or challenges I pull out the extra icons in there and I make a schedule for him which I feel keeps him on track.  Thankfully, his wonderful teachers help me make and laminate icons when needed.  

During breaks from school for holidays or being home sick, I separate the icons better and ad in a row of icons of what happens during the afternoon.  Those icons include things like "eat lunch, take a nap, play outside, play with my sister" and more.

The board I used to put it all onto is actually a cork board that most people use to just hang notes or pictures on.  His teacher at the time had the budget to give me some Velcro to use when I first made this visual schedule.  Then, I bought I went ahead and bought the Velcro myself and attached it to them when needed.  I tend to prefer putting the harder Velcro against the actual board, and then I put the soft Velcro onto the back of the icon.  It's easier to take off the icons and move them around that way.  

After some time I got frustrated with the visual schedule I had and bought a dry erase board that I was going to adhere the Velcro to.  The dry erase board sat in my house for quite some time.  My son showed interest in it one day and asked me to put his schedule onto the dry erase board.  He expressed interest in having two schedules.  Since most of what I do with my son is to encourage his progress, I went ahead and made a second visual schedule which hangs outside of his room.  Here is that visual schedule.  

 

My children enjoyed watching me make it so much, that they wanted to take care of writing the nighttime routine.  When you look at this schedule, to the left I put a blank spot where I normally put the time.  I made it color coordinated on purpose to help my children read each line separately, and they love it!  I've also included things like "watch cartoons" and "rewards".  My child is young enough that he works for rewards during the day.  I don't have a formal token board for him, but I have an accountability system that we have set up about his behavior at school.  I work with the one his teacher has created, and how he does at school affects how man, and what kinds, of rewards he gets when he comes home.  It makes him agitated sometimes, but being consistent with him has helped him have excellent progress in fighting against the challenges caused by Autism. 

When my children are not in school, and struggling with "what do I do" without my friends, teachers, etc, I offer structure and routine to their lives by having these visual schedules.  We don't always follow them perfectly, but having them to reference does seem to minimize the amount of behaviors they have, and it helps me add purpose and meaning to each day we spend together.

Another item we have in the house is a visual countdown for the upcoming holiday.  This year my sons' teacher helped him make one before I even had to at home, so that was a huge help.  It's adorable, and every day a chain is taken off to help us all countdown to the upcoming holiday, which is Christmas.  Here is the fabulous countdown made by his wonderful teacher.  :)

It has a cute poem at the top, and my son has requested for it to be hung in his room near his other visual schedules.  

Much of what I do to prepare my child for the holidays comes from the successes and failures of the previous year.  I try to not let the challenges of raising a child with Autism control my holidays, but I do let it affect what I do to guarantee his happiness.  We can't always do the "typical things" some families get to do, but we have a rewarding experience that brings us closer as a family, and in the end, that is what matters most to me, and so it is what matters most to my children.  

The holidays can be such a special time of year to bond as a family. I hope that this little bit of advice helps all of you challenged by Autism to have a bright, and happy holidays.  

Happy Holidays!

Love,
me