Lately in the news I've been hearing quite a bit about the Measles and how someone in Disneyland got the Measles as well as somewhere else in the world. I don't really follow it because quite frankly, that's the kind of thing that's just a little bit too depressing for me. Have you seen that movie with Gwenyth Paltrow and Matt Damon? It's called Contagion. If you really want to get freaked out about the spread of disease, check that one out. It'll make you think twice about everything, and anything, you do to risk getting sick.
Then today there was another article posted about people who society has deemed accountable for things like whether or not you should vaccinate your child to avoid them getting something like, oh, say, Autism?
I've been hearing about this theory since I graduated college in 2004. I consider it to be pretty similar to this theory "You can get cancer from drinking water". Autism is hard. I get it. I live with it. It may be caused by something in our environment. It may come from a gene, in fact, it probably does. I've heard rumors to that effect many times now, even read articles about it, but it seems like society has not really embraced that idea, so it always fades out.
The facts for the parent of a child with Autism, versus someone else, is that you have to live with it, and somehow cope with it. Every parent who enters that "arena" of Autism and starts that battle, comes from a different angle, and a different perspective. For me, I had worked as a Special Education Teacher, and knew the signs of Autism as well as other disabilities. So, when my son was born premature - which can also cause disabilities - I was looking for the warning signs, and I saw them.
There was no solid eye contact. There was no affect when he smiled at me. There was no visible response to hearing his name. No one would test him until he was a certain age, in a certain state, etc.. Each story is different about how a parent finds out. (Finding Out.) EVERY parent, at some point, will grieve this "change" in their child. At least, I believe they should, so you can get up and start to focus on your child instead of "who did what wrong". Remember that old saying? When you point the finger of blame at someone else, you're also pointing four fingers back at someone else? Who? YOU!
When you vaccinate a child, you risk a lot of things. Trauma among one of them. Could the trauma of getting a shot when you're one day old cause Autism? Who knows!?! Could getting multiple immunizations cause Autism? There are theories out there that support it. But there are a lot of other diseases out there that immunizations prevent. And honestly, I would much rather have my child live with Autism from getting immunized (if that theory is even true) than to watch my child suffer or die from polio or suffer through measles and live. You can always learn from the past, but where we're living right now, is the present.
Today, is our accountability as parents. I think of that every day with my child. EVERY day is my chance to try harder, to figure things out better, to be a better mother to my son. I pray for it. I hope for it. I educate myself so I can do better at parenting a child challenged by Autism.
The problem I see society facing with Autism is accountability. People have lost sight of the greatest reward - of taking accountability for our children - regardless of their ability or dis-ability. Who knows why they end up the way they do, or why they have the challenges they face? The majority of our children's challenges will always be without measure and unexplained. The best way I believe we can face these challenges is by working together, not by wasting our time blaming someone else.
The experience of being a good parent can be a good choice or not, but the facts are, the choice is yours. Make a good choice today, and pay it forward, so that the lives of all people affected by Autism and other disabilities can be better, and more meaningful, and full of hope.
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